i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
