Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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