do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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