I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
