singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
