Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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