Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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