her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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