it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
