accomplished twins. life is a go
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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