wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
