Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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