i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
