There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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