We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
