All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
