Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
