i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Someone signed my nipple.
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