Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
