Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
