yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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