i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
