I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
