Soap is not a condiment
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
