After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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