i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
