with your own penis?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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