What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
