you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
sarcasm needs its own font
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
