So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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