I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
