I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
