1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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