we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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