oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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