i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
