Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im six kinds of drunk right now
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
