Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
