arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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