i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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