A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
