That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
