I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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