Don't you send me to vm
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
