I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
