he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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