are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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