its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
