They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
