GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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