It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
