Soap is not a condiment
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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