Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
